all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I am mentally ready for anal.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
