Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
