Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
