The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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