Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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