every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
