my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
