help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
