Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
