Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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