Christians are straight up FREAKS
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We don't watch enough power rangers
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
