the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
