Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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