Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
