it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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