What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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