so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
