The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
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