I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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