Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Panties = found
Randomize
