Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
only you would photoshop your dick
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
