Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
