nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
