I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
