News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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