you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize