gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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