I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Everyone says I win the strip club
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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