The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
