my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
try to milk me bitch
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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