Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
