Im at strip club and am horny
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
