yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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