i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
