once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
