i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
