He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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