He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
