The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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