Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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