i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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