my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
