She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
