If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
