You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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