I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
