Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
