you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
