she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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