They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
